G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra 4K Ultra HD Blu-ray Review
The culmination of every 40 year-old man child’s dreams, GI JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA hit theaters with high hopes and impossible expectations. Every boy that played with the popular action figures in the 80’s had their own ideas of what they wanted from a Joe film. Some fans only knew GI Joe from the figures, so storylines and backstories were limited to what they read on the back of the toy packaging. Others remember the “knowing is half the battle” cartoon, so maybe expected something more colorful and lighthearted. And the pickiest of the fans remember the greatness of the Larry Hama comics and were hoping for a movie that was geared to a more adult audience and took the characters more seriously. As it turns out, the film managed to disappoint every type of GI Joe fan.
Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow sort of represented the traditional characters we knew, but every other character was a pale caricature to any semblance of how they were previously represented. I don’t need Duke to be dressed in his traditional khaki’s, but why make Duke a young rookie coming into the GI Joe team? Every character has something like that; something that makes fans scratch their heads and question why the filmmakers showed zero respect for the franchise.
All could be forgiven if the film was enjoyable, but instead it was a poorly written, poorly directed clunker that was tough to watch. The intertwined triangle of Cobra Commander, Duke and Baroness was unnecessarily convoluted and weird. The nano-technology world destruction was very Cobra cartoony, but it didn’t feel like anyone involved realized how cheesy and silly it was. The love triangle between Ripcord, Scarlet and Snake Eyes was awkward and unsettling for characters we were just introduced to.
It’s easy to hate on just about anything Channing Tatum starred in during his early years, but he’s not really the problem in GI JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA. Sure, he’s dry and lacks charisma, but his character is so poorly written that no one could have made it bearable. Marlon Wayans was a travesty as Ripcord, as was Rachel Nichols as Scarlett. Sienna Miller was great as Baroness, but the writers ruined the character in the third act. The highlight, by far, was Lee Byung-hun as Storm Shadow.
In my movie-fantasy world, a talented filmmaker will take an interest in the Larry Hama comics and will develop a long running HBO series or a successful movie franchise and every character will get the attention they deserve. But that’s a far-fetched fantasy because the more likely scenario is studios will keep throwing Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow movies at us until no one cares about the characters any more.
4K ULTRA HD BLU-RAY REVIEW
Video: Yikes…this is not the high quality 4K release we’ve come to expect from Paramount. At best, this is only a moderate improvement over the Blu-ray, mostly noticeable in close-ups and background settings. But there were times that I actually questioned whether or not I had put in the 4K disc rather than the Blu-ray. Fans hoping for a drastic improvement will be disappointed.
Audio: The same DTS track from the Blu-ray is included here.
There are no 4K exclusive special features, but it does include a Blu-ray of the film.