G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Duke (Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans) are escorting a new high tech weapon when they get completely overpowered by an ambush led by the uber sexy Baroness (Sienna Miller). I don’t remember her ever being so hot, however, I hadn’t hit puberty when I was first introduced to her. The entire team is wiped out besides our two pre Joe heroes, before a few team members from G.I. Joe show up to save the day. The struggle is basically good and evil fighting over these warheads.

GI Joe 5

Before I saw the movie I saw the preview… atrocious! One scene is blatantly ripped off, nearly shot for shot from Transformers. Two Autobots are running down the street dodging bullets jumping around transforming. G.I. Joe has two Joes in body armors that make them less human and more like, well an Autobot, running down a street dodging bullets jumping and moving in a super human ways. This seems so far from my memory of my beloved action figures. I loved GI Joe as a kid. I read the comics, watched the cartoons and destroyed the toys in my sandbox. Then into my later years (7 -present), I displayed them neatly, setting them in precise spots as if about to battle. I was a crazy old lady trapped in a seven year olds body and I knew if anyone had touched my ceramic angel babies…er G.I. Joes. These were real American Heroes that had cool weapons and vehicles they were not machines. Why turn them into machines? Why destroy my childhood love?!

GI Joe 4

So my expectations are low and you know what? The film wasn’t horrible! Those little outfits were not in it so much nor did they overly bother me. The trailer should have chosen other moments. I would like a stab at it; I bet I could make a killer trailer for Joe! However, maybe that was the plan, give everyone low expectations and then be pleasantly surprised.

GI Joe 3

G.I. Joe has a ton of action, which is traceable and doesn’t over extend itself like another toy-based movie this summer. Some of the shots are poorly done in CGI and the dialogue is cheesy. Sure, some is good cheesy and expected but some of it is painfully forced for the worse of the film. Just leave it in silence and you’ll up your rating. The acting is actually strong for this type of fun action movie. The cast is well formed with just the right amount of notoriety. No one takes themselves too seriously. Dennis Quaid seems to have a fun time as General Hawk and gives that touch of star power that is needed. The rest of the cast is somewhat known as well, without being house hold names yet. I’m a big fan of Joseph Gordon- Levitt and there is no exception here as the doctor who eventually becomes Cobra Commander. He definitely has a commanding presence on screen. Concentrating on six Joe’s was a smart idea. We would not be able to cover all the characters and keep the audience interested. I think they did focus too much on the love story, with bad flash backs between Duke and Baroness, which is a cliché that I never understand. When summer action movies throw “love” in, it immediately deters from the film and gives me a groan moment. Is there any person out there that actually buys into these love stories in this sort of film? Is this to appeal to the female audience that gets dragged by their adolescent boyfriends? Because I have to think they are not being won over with the love story. These “good” moments don’t suit Baroness well at all. She definitely needs to keep her switch turned to evil.

GI Joe 2

One of the flashback’s that did work for me, were the back-stories on Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes. Like most guys, I love ninja fighting and these were a couple of my favorite characters. Both of them received a lot of screen time and I definitely would not be upset if they were given more. I found myself really liking all the villains and their origins. I was a little disappointed with some of the conclusions with Storm Shadow, Baroness and Cobra Commander… HIS MASK!!! What was that? Try to make it somewhat similar! He went through several looks back in the day. Pick any of those! At least color it blue!!

GI Joe 1

As nostalgic value G.I. Joe holds up pretty well. We get to see our toys as action figures, vehicles and base camps come to life in battles through snow, sand and water. If knowing is half the battle then they reached me just fine. For those of you not in the know, well you probably won’t see it anyway.


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