Get it Started With Taylor Lautner, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart
By: Nathan Swank
Trifecta #19: THE ADVENTURES OF SHARKBOY AND LAVAGIRL + HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE + PANIC ROOM
With all the craze surrounding the most popular kids in school who happen to be monsters in a romantic love triangle, we figured it was a good time to share where these little love mongers got their start. If you are living blissfully ignorant and unaware, I am speaking about Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner, the dreamboats of The Munsters crossbred with the 90210esque films called The TWILIGHT SAGA. It’s no secret that we here at Flix are not the biggest fans of the films, so I’m gonna give you three alternative films where each of your favorite stars got their big breaks. Warning: Teen angst, deep emotional feelings and brooding will be absent.
THE ADVENTURES OF SHARKBOY AND LAVAGIRL 3-D (Team Jacob)- A young boy’s dream world comes to life and he must help his favorite superheroes; Sharkboy (Lautner) and Lavagirl, save their perfect dream world, Planet Drool. Directed by Robert Rodriguez unique style, this film is less like his DESPERADO and more like his SPY KIDS. OK, so this might be more for those new moms that don’t want to subject their children who are too young for a love/vamp movie but still need a Taylor Lautner fix while keeping their perverted crush. TL’s all of 13 years old so one would be kind of sick for this action, but hey he was all of 16 years old for the first Twilight. Guess What? He’s still illegal ladies…and fellas.
HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE (Team Edward)- This is the fourth Harry Potter installment and probably the most pivotal because Voldermort has risen and is finally revealed. Robert Pattinson plays Cedric Diggory, the most talented contender for Hogwarts in The Triwizard Tournament. Personally, I still think this is Bob Patty’s best performance. He doesn’t do much, but maybe that’s what makes the performance better- he doesn’t try so hard (REMEMBER ME, LITTLE ASHES, TWILIGHT’S). He’s charismatic, subtle and charming helping out another troubled unique teen in his own right, Potter. SPOILER ALERT: Unfortunately, his best scene is lying on the ground dead as his father screams, “IT’S MY BOY!”
PANIC ROOM (Team Bella)- The great David Fincher (SEVEN, FIGHT CLUB, all of his movies) directed this underrated gem about a mother (Jodie Foster) and her child locked in a highly secure panic room inside their own home while a few criminals (Forest Whitaker, Jared Leto, Dwight Yoakam) invade their home. What the criminals desire happens to be inside that very room. The ambiguous boy/girl child of Jodie Foster is played none other than Kristen Stewart. K Stew does a great job in this suspense thriller, but it did take me half the film to finally figure out she was a little girl rather than a little boy.
For the record, I’m Team Alice (Ashley Greene) and you can find her in her first staring role in the USA Canadian slasher flick SUMMER’S BLOOD. Greene plays the title character, who is being stalked by a family of Serial Killers. To be honest, I have yet to see this film, but that doesn’t stop Ashy G from being super hot and that seems to be all the necessary criteria to root for your team.