The Snowman Blu-ray Review
Jeremy Werner
February 27th, 2018
Very few times after a bad movie do you unironically wonder, “What happened?” There are bad movies, but very rarely do they have the right ingredients at nearly every level that should necessitate a good film. THE SNOWMAN is a film that has an all-star cast that not only includes Michael Fassbender, but also Charlotte Gainsbourg, J.K. Simmons and others. It has the director of TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY and LET THE RIGHT ONE IN. THE SNOWMAN is also based on one of the best-selling novels in Norway, which is a part of a series, which could be compared to a modern Sherlock Holmes or Hercule Poirot.
Even the trailer for THE SNOWMAN promises a 21st century version of SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, but comes off more like KISS THE GIRLS. It’s difficult to find a starting point on where it began to go wrong because this is a movie that began oddly enough on several disturbing set pieces, but as time went on, it became clear that these unsettling sequences were more like incomplete ideas or failed attempts at conveying character building. Even when our hero, Harry Hole (Fassbender), is introduced, he looks on in silence or mutters inconsequential dialogue at inconsequential scenes. It seems like he and other characters around him are reacting to the unexplained actions of other people.
There are several moments where you wonder if the Blu-ray may have skipped a scene because there’s this aimlessness to Hole’s direction. I couldn’t even begin to tell you when he actually takes on the case of a serial killer whose M.O. is gore and an untouched, ominous snowman. It should be eerie and haunting, but instead it’s mundane. I haven’t even gotten to the political side plot that has no connection to the core plot. Or is there? I assume it’s just a sophomoric red herring by a writer who may have left his television on a candidate debate while he typed away at the script.
The characters are supposed to serve the plot, and vice versa, but Hole and the gang seem to serve no purpose. Emotionless characters sometimes bump into each other, look at each other, don’t say a thing, and keep walking. Because of the flaccid deliveries, it’s impossible to surmise what the purpose of some of these scenes or encounters are. Even the moments with dialogue seem like an inessential conversation you’d have with your Uber driver or an exchange of small talk with a high school classmate you haven’t seen in decades and never liked in the first place. And then Val Kilmer shows up at one point and appears to have had all his dialogue dubbed over. There’s way too much to unpack in this film and most of its just questions that I’ll never get the answer to.
There’s an earnest effort to make a good movie, and in that regard THE SNOWMAN is fascinating to watch. It’s not that you keep watching for a satisfying resolution (because honestly it’s not, it’s highly predictable despite the mess of characters orbiting each other without reason), but you keep watching for any indication as to why this became such a dismal movie. THE SNOWMAN had the makings of a tense classic, with palpable chills and nightmare inducing scenarios, but instead feels more like a complete misfire of judgement, direction and the creative writing process. Seriously. What happened?
BLU-RAY REVIEW
Video: (1080p HD Widescreen 1:85:1) This film is gorgeous and it shines through on this Blu-ray. It’s like a gorgeous portrait with no substance.
Audio: (English DTS-HD Master Audio 7.1) Despite the mumbling and lack of engaging dialogue, I did manage to notice I never had problems with the audio balancing.
Cast of Characters (7:46): In the hope of pursuing some answers behind why this is so confusing and awful, I was instead of given canned responses by cast and crew members. It doesn’t really peel back any layers behind the characters you’ve just watched.
Creating Jo Nesbo’s World (4:05): We hear from the author and director predominantly, but instead of shedding light on the creative process, they generally just compliment each other.
The Snowman Killer (4:03): A feature I can’t really talk about for obvious reasons. I wouldn’t mind spoiling the movie because I believe it’s bad and shouldn’t be watched, but just on the off-chance someone is genuinely interested…
Norwegian Landscape (6:33): I legitimately enjoyed this feature because Norway is a beautiful country, seemingly trapped in perpetual cold and winter. I enjoyed the film crew road trip throughout the landscape.
Stunt Files: The Sinking Lake (1:36): A straight-forward feature on the opening action of the film. Nothing noteworthy here.
