by Nathan Swank
With the release of the new Blu-ray set coupled with a recent writer’s confession to never seeing the STAR WARS SAGA, I feel that it is my duty to convince said person to watch the film that has influenced millions and changed movie making as a whole. The simple notion of its epic grandness, notoriety and overall historical importance doesn’t seem to be enough reasons. So instead of slapping this person (mostly because I will lose that slap battle), I have come up with TEN REASONS WHY MY WIFE SHOULD WATCH STAR WARS.
So lets go over the groundwork for the list. First, I’m only speaking of the original trilogy: A NEW HOPE, THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK and (what she so wrongfully called “the one with the Ewoks”) RETURN OF THE JEDI. There will be absolutely no referencing the embarrassing prequels. Secondly, the ten reasons are what I believe will appeal to my wife and not necessarily the things the average fan loves like cool light saber battles and villains. Hopefully along the way I can entertain current fans while convincing others who have yet to view the glory that is STAR WARS.
10. Scenery – We can skip the vacations to foreign lands. Spain, Italy and the Bahamas have got nothing on the wide vast of places STAR WARS will take us. Through the sandy deserts of Tatooine, the beautiful sky in Cloud City, the clean white snow of Hoth and the rich forests of Endor, we will be traveling to all these stars through freakin Space! And through the plethora of planets, we will witness different fashion senses, exotic languages, multi cultural beings and maybe a few delicacies.
9. Music – From one of the most famous musical scores to the simplistic Cantina band on Mos Eisley, STAR WARS presents a wide range of music that can provoke energy, tension and elated joy. Forget the current pop status of Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga or DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince, Composer John Williams provides an easily recognizable sound that never gets old. Plus the lead singer of the Max Rebo Band in Jabba’s Palace has lips that put Mick Jagger to shame.
8. Comic Relief – All the characters are rich with personalities, giving appropriate jabs and jokes at the most opportune moment with the occasional visual gag and funny looking creature here and there. The droids of C-3PO and R2-D2 are many times a nice little break into the action. Perhaps I’m overselling it but they seem to have a give and take similar to Abbott and Costello or if you prefer, the funny antics of Ellen DeGeneres and Chelsea Handler.
7. Ewoks – From Yoda to Salacious Crumb, the STAR WARS Universe is full of fun little interesting looking characters to choose from but since the Ewoks are my wife’s only memory of the films they must be doing something right. Many might say this is blasphemes, as they consider the Ewoks to be the beginning step toward the demise of STAR WARS. I confess that as I have gotten older that I am not their strongest supporter. However, no one can deny the fury creatures cuteness and their cuddly teddy bear effects.
6. Friendships – There are many friendships and bonds in the STAR WARS universe. As mentioned before, there is the teaming of R2-D2 and C-3PO, the mentor to student relationship between Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi or even the annoyance to gradual progressive friendship between Luke and Han. But my personal favorite is the bond between Han Solo and his Co-pilot Chewbacca. As a giant hairy Wookie who makes a dog gargle-like speech, Chewy is Han’s best fuzz ball of a friend just as little Chief Brody is to our family.
5. Family – Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia and Darth Vader are all related and boy are they dysfunctional. Yes, I realize that would be considered a huge spoiler for those who have not seen the film, but the fact is everyone knows that. Which again speaks volumes of the reach and influence that STAR WARS has, because even those who have never seen it know when TOMMY BOY speaks “Luke, I am your father” into the fan. The lines have been replicated, the story has been spoofed and the idea has been stolen countless times. Remember TOY STORY 2? Yeah they didn’t originate that concept.
4. The Love Story– At first there is a bit of a love triangle between Luke, Leia and Han. But at the core we have a will they or won’t they, Rachel and Ross scenario between Han Solo and Princess Leia. The tension is thick as they continually move through a love/hate relationship. Irritated yet compelled, the two have dynamite chemistry and quick-witted repartee. And yes, I still have three more reasons even better than the greatest love story.
3. Jedi Mind Trick – An ultimate fantasy for any woman. Imagine, with the wave of a hand and a simple command that all weak-minded men are subject to do exactly as you say. Who am I kidding, you practically have that power now, only you might choose other body parts to wave in front of me.
2. Han Solo – This Nerf herder is by no means scruffy-looking. Harrison Ford plays the handsome rogue smuggler with smarmy charm and a hint of goofiness. Usually looking out for himself, Han always ends up fighting for the good guys. He’s the ultimate bad boy with a hidden heart of gold. The epitome of coolness. In fact, he transcends cool. Women want to be with him and men want to be with him.
1. Because You Love Me – When the force is with you, it can make you so much sexier. Princess Leia dressed in a slave costume might be the sexiest fantasy for any guy. So please take some joy in our nerdisms over this classic good vs. evil tale. You will be surprised how much you can get away with in return, but more importantly watch it to strengthen our relationship. Yes, we love a woman who will cook a great meal and laugh at our jokes but the light speediest way to a man’s heart is through STAR WARS.