The Loft Blu-ray Review

THE LOFT may be a cautionary tale for people who may consider themselves one percenters. If you and your other rich guy pals think it’s a great idea to share a loft to bring your mistresses to, don’t. But if it’s not a cautionary tale, then it’s a failed late night softcore porn thriller. There’s not enough steam to make it sexy and not enough mystery to create tension. THE LOFT is neither of these things, but it certainly wants to be.

THE LOFT is actually a remake, but it’s like the movie LOL, because the same director is directing the remake. It seems like an odd choice to create something in your native land only to turn around and create it for America. It only seems like something one would do to keep the creative integrity of the original intact instead of letting someone else do it. But I highly doubt that the original is any better than its American sibling.

Karl Urban, James Mardsen, Eric Stonestreet in The Loft

Five well to do men, Vincent (Urban), Luke (Miller), Chris (Mardsen), Marty (Eric Stonestreet), and Phillip (Matthias Schoenaerts), share a lavish loft. In it they commit adultery, sometimes do drugs, and do things they want the other to know about. I may not make six or seven figures, but this seems like a terrible idea. How is it that these rich men couldn’t simply pay cash for a modest hotel room for the night? Each of them has a key, which means they all have access to this room. So when a dead woman winds up handcuffed to the bed, each one of them is automatically considered a murder suspect. And so the mystery begins…as to why this movie was ever made.

WOLF OF WALL STREET and BREAKING BAD are the obvious examples when it comes to entertaining concepts about terrible people that do terrible things. The problem with THE LOFT is that no one in this is particularly interesting enough, or slightly sympathetic, to warrant a feature length movie. It’s even harder to care about which one may or may not have done it. And if you have any basic understandings of subplot and simplistic character motivations, you’ll be able to predict the ending fairly easily.

Karl Urban, James Mardsen, Eric Stonestreet in The Loft

There are all these twists and turns, but none of them are shocking. It should be shock enough that a dead woman with cut up wrists and her blood soaking the mattress are in the same room of these bickering men. Instead the movie makes the mistake of having the movie try to unravel the plot via flashbacks after all the men have been caught and after all the men have clearly chosen the scapegoat, leaving very little in terms of suspense during expository arguments.

Once it becomes clear that Vincent is the one who’s going to be thrown under the bus, the question becomes why, but none of the reveals are stellar. If anything it makes Vincent less sympathetic in his plight as the patsy for the rest of these scumbags. While it’s understandable that there shouldn’t be a bright spot amongst any of these guys, none of the characters have enough sadistic charisma to derive any glee from the viewer.

Some of the veteran actors in this group seem to be phoning it in, while others, such as Eric Stonestreet, don’t seem to fit quite right in this confusing puzzle. Most studios would kill for a line-up of actors like this to fill up their male-centric group. But I’m sure after watching the final product; Open Road Films bit the bullet and hid their shame like a group of rich business men hiding their adultery.

BLU-RAY REVIEW

Video: (1080p Widescreen 2:39:1) Since we’re inhabiting such a clean, neat, and sterile world, the picture should be just as clear and crisp in its presentation; and it is.

Audio: (English DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1) There are some great natural sound effects as well as a well-crafted soundtrack being mixed into the background of this movie. At times the music can be overbearing when it comes to dialogue.

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