This is the worst movie ever made. Some comedians and Hollywood personalities have stated they love the movie THE ROOM, written, directed, produced and starring the freakishly weird Tommy Wiseau, but I can attest to the fact that there is nothing lovable about this project. It is the worst thing on film and needs to be erased from the medium. There is a cult following to this film, following these celebrities lead, who attend midnight screenings and throw things and yell at the screen (in participation not hatred, as I would), likening it to THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW and THE BIG LEBOWSKI. However, drawing that comparison is an immense disservice to the actors, writers, and producers of those films, as the only thing I could liken to THE ROOM would be a Lifetime movie directed and written by third-graders. No matter what anyone tells you, do not watch this film.
There are some moments that are so bad you can’t help but laugh, but after the laughter, you just feel empty inside. The basic story is simple: Johnny (Wiseau) is looking forward to his marriage to his “future wife” (he never says fiancé), Lisa (Juliette Danielle), who is having an affair with his best friend Mark (Greg Estero). But there’s so much more, and yet so much less. There’s a college student, Denny (Philip Haldeman), who stops by all the time, says he loves Lisa and awkwardly asks for kisses and has an unexplained and unresolved drug sub-plot. Lisa’s mom, Claudette (Carolyn Minnott), advises Lisa to get married to Johnny despite her affair and lack of love for Johnny, and also has a matter-of-factly blurted out and quickly dismissed diagnosis of breast cancer. Other characters enter and exit in the most awkward ways, some to quickly have sex, others to act as counsel, and still others to just toss the football around, which I didn’t think could look awkward and uncomfortable until I saw this film.
To further elaborate on the awkwardness that permeates the film, let’s start with the sex scenes, in which Wiseau chooses to show way too much of himself and in awkward camera angles with ridiculous music. Also, bringing up the football again, there’s one scene where the male characters toss the ball around in tuxedos, with no explanation as to why they’re wearing the tuxes, as it is not the wedding day and they are not at the tailor. Denny’s drug sub-plot and rooftop gun battle with a drug dealer is quickly dismissed (oh, and the rooftop scenes are done with an unnatural looking green screen for some unknown reason), and a character acts as a main confidant later in the film that has never been introduced before and whose name is never said.
Wiseau is the worst actor of all of them, delivering his lines with an awkward chuckle or unsettling inflection, and in his accent which sounds like a mixture of Arnold Schwarzenneger and Elmer Fudd trying to emulate James Dean (in one scene he even quotes REBEL WITHOUT CAUSE). But the other actors all do their part to take acting down a peg as an art form. They inexpicably express surprise as characters enter or time their entrances wrong to make the film look like a jumbled mess that paid no attention to even the most obvious details, like they didn’t storyboard or even make basic inferences from the script. And the only reason this film gets one point at all is for a tantrum Johnny throws at the end of the film which is the funniest/most ridiculous thing I’ve seen on film in a long time.
Wiseau reportedly spent $7 million dollars on the film in production and marketing, and watching the film, you can’t see it. There is also word around the campfire that the film was just an excuse to launder or pocket most of that $7 million, a la THE PRODUCERS. I really hope so. I can at least respect that. Worst movie ever.